The demand that external programs operators avow not to deal in the ‘degradation and humiliation of the IDF’ will almost certainly affect The Parents Circle – Families Forum, the group of bereaved Israelis and Palestinians that deals with the subject directly in Israeli schools
A new condition added by the Education Ministry on Monday for operators of external programs in schools, that requires them not to degrade or shame the Israel Defense Forces seems tailor-made for one specific organization: The Parents Circle – Families Forum for Israeli and Palestinian bereaved families.
The condition specifically calls for program organizers to commit to not including “the degradation and humiliation of the IDF, IDF fallen soldiers, or casualties of hostile actions,” a seeming effort to curb The Parents Circle – Families’ educational activities, which as of today is included in the pool of Education Ministry approved programs.
Out of thousands of organizations in the pool, the Forum is the only one that deals directly with content related to casualties of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, soldiers and civilians alike.
The Forum is following developments at the Education Ministry and the ongoing effort to keep its members out of schools and away from speaking to students. Co-Director of the Forum Yuval Rahamim says the attempt to silence the organization stems from the misconception that “we bring terrorists’ families or harm the memory of the dead. But we commemorate the fallen and give meaning to the loss.”
Rahamim makes it clear that they intend to apply for the next tender despite the new condition that was added the other day. “This clause doesn’t disqualify us from participating,” says Rahamim. “If the Education Ministry tries to use it to disqualify our participation, it will have to prove that we don’t meet the conditions. Where do we degrade IDF soldiers?”
Education Minister Yoav Kisch said at a government meeting last week that he would make sure to remove “bizarre things like a commemoration day for Palestinian casualties” from the pool of programs.
Members of the organization, which has been operating since the mid-nineties, continue to speak at schools that invite them. “It takes incredible courage to invite us in the face of outside pressures,” says Rahamim. Even before the current change in the tender conditions, right-wing activists were increasingly pushing to prevent the Forum from speaking to students. It was done in part by, Rahamim relates, by spreading false information on social media and personally contacting students in an attempt to encourage them to complain about the Forum’s activity.
“They try to create pressure, ostensibly coming from the grassroots, and is in reality just a handful of aggressive people,” he says. Only recently a meeting with Forum members was canceled at a Kfar Sava high school, following false reports on social media.
Rahamim says that meetings are becoming more complex each year, and not only due to increased pressures. “The students’ lack of knowledge is constantly growing,” he says. “They – and gradually their teachers as well – are born into a reality where there is very little knowledge and familiarity with the situation. They don’t learn about Palestinians in school. Students reach the army without knowing anything about what happens on the other side.”
Despite the pressures and hardships, the Circle holds meetings at some 70 schools annually. “Schools that invite us once usually invite us back every year because they understand the importance of the meeting,” Rahamim explains. He says that the composition of schools is relatively diverse, but admits that “in the periphery it’s harder to overcome community resistance.”
Such a meeting took place last Wednesday at Public High School 14 in north Tel Aviv, where the Circle has been invited for years to speak with high school seniors. Varda Seelig, who lost her brother in the Yom Kippur War, began the meeting alone without the Palestinian partner, Yaqub al-Rabi, with whom she normally holds the meetings. Al-Rabi – who lost his wife Aisha in 2018 to a settler attack – along with the Palestinian delegation set to attend the meeting, was detained at a checkpoint en-route to Tel Aviv, and the event began without them; they subsequently arrived half an hour later.
Seelig spoke of coping with her own loss, which at first led her to a sense of helplessness. The 1979 peace agreement signed with Egypt, she told the class, gave her new hope. “We grew up on the [assumption that there was no] ‘no partner,’ and here it happened anyway. I told myself, wow, it’s possible.” After Yitzhak Rabin’s assassination in 1995 she sank into depression again. “There was a great hope that sank into the depths,” Seelig told the students, who were born years after the murder.
Al-Rabi, who arrived late to the talk because of his detainment at the checkpoint, quietly told his family’s history. When he described the evening in which he lost his wife his voice cut off. The students looked at him silently as he told of the rocks hurled at their car, of his wife’s last moments, and of the ordeal of interrogations to which he was subjected for long hours afterward. “It’s hard for me to talk about it, it’s hard for you to hear about it too,” al-Rabi said. The students kept looking at him silently.
In the Q&A phase the students kept returning to the conduct of the military and police regarding Aisha al-Rabi’s death. Seelig and al-Rabi were careful, for their part, to refrain from political statements. “We don’t have solutions,” Seelig said, in response to a student’s question on the necessity of checkpoints in the West Bank. “We are not the [experts] for those questions. What’s important to us is to talk about stopping the circle of fear and hate.”
“We’ll be enlisting in the IDF in a moment. Do you feel comfortable talking to us now? One student asked al-Rabi, who replied as one who’s not unfamiliar with the question. “I’m not against anyone. I’m not against the army and what you do. But you need to know that my life is in danger 24-7. When you go to the army, don’t forget me, and there are a lot of people like me,” he said. “We’re aware that you’ll soon join the army,” Seelig added. “You do your service the best you can. We’re here to talk about the human side.”
Does the Circle help overcome the pain, one student asked. “You can’t overcome it,” Seelig replied. “It’s a hole that will never be filled. But there is something comforting in what I do, and I feel that I’m here on behalf of my brother. This is how I commemorate him.” Al-Rabi replied: “When I talk, the pain is released. I’m in the Circle to the end.” The meeting was halted a few minutes before its scheduled ending. The Arabic majors hurried to an exam. The classroom was once again filled with the bustle of school, and Seelig and al-Rabi continued on to the next class.
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